Dear Mr Vuddamalay [Assistant Commissioner of Police]
Please find attached yet more evidence associated with my complaint [against Jameel Peerally]. I am becoming concerned that the police are not performing their sworn duty. Unless action is taken swiftly it will be inferred that you and your subordinates are no longer part of the Mauritian Police Force but form a division of the Leader’s Gestapo. This will not be good for your career. If you don’t follow your conscience now, you had better kill me or you will be spending a very long time in prison. I am guessing more than one inmate will be happy to initiate you. So perhaps it won’t be so long after all.. Of course if something does happen to me, your complicity will surely be suspected as you have quite a strong motive don’t you think? I will be making a declaration against you as a precautionary measure.
Consider this a VERY STRONG AND FINAL WARNING. Please call to reassure me of your compliance with your legal regulations and your oath of service to the Republic. If you are unable to do so, may I suggest you resign?
I do hope that we can proceed amicably because I have some other matters to discuss with you: drug barons, Kaya and Berger Agathe, Dharmarajen Sabapathee. (Oh and something else that has slipped my mind…Now what time is it? Where is my watch? I hope I haven’t “lost” it or I will have to fly directly to London to buy a new one 😉
Some advice please – if I were to publish a photograph of a certain VVVVVIP in a “compromised position”, would it be considered diffusing pornographic images? (Or perhaps an “invasion of privacy”? LOL If I did have such a photo, I would certainly not keep it on my computer. A mobile phone would be easier to hide no? Share with bluetooth, MMS… So glad my insurance policies are robust and up to date 😉
[Please be aware that this letter has been bcced to the President, the Chief Justice, the DPP, ICAC, Amnesty, Transparency, the US Embassy and the British High Commission, along with numerous “intelligent entities”. It will also be posted publicly on the internet, including Facebook. How does it feel to have the world watching you?]